Changes

Yesterday was a rollercoaster ride.

I had severe cramping in my pelvis. I collapsed on my bathroom floor in pain, and wasn’t able to stand for a long time after. For an hour, I sat curled in a ball against the wall crying in the most excruciating pain I have ever felt, calling person after person to come and take me to the hospital. Finally, I got help.

For two hours in my urgent care office, I underwent another pap-smear, pelvic exam, and specimen sampling. I was sent for urgent same day ultrasounds, which took another 3 hours, my pain only minimally subsiding, enough for me to walk around.

It was now 2 PM, and my results were in. Aside from the fact I have a 3.8cm cyst in my left ovary, I received another one of the worst diagnoses I could. I am now not only diagnosed with high risk HPV, I have PID, pelvic inflammatory disease.

A little back story. For the past 3 years I have suffered from ovarian cysts. If you know the pain, you know. If you don’t, you’re lucky. For 3 years, I have switched my insurance group a multitude of times and seen so many doctors for the pain. No one seemed to be able to correctly diagnose me. I was thrown narcotic pain medications and birth controls and told “you’re fine!!” The pain always comes back.

As it seems, the past three years I’ve been suffering from PID. It is not easy to diagnose and there is no straight up test for it. PID can be treated with a series of antibiotics, but causes permanent damage to the reproductive system. In essence, PID can sterilize you. It can cause irreversible scarring, making it extremely hard to get pregnant, and in some cases if you do become pregnant, it can be ectopic and deadly. This doesn’t necessarily mean I won’t be able to conceive, but my ability has lowered.

It hasn’t quite set in, and we won’t know the level of the scarring/damage until I’m ready to try to get pregnant, but I’m in a daze. My future has slowly come crumbling down before my eyes and only seems to be crashing harder and harder.

I will forever urge the importance of vaccines, and the dire importance of safe sex, not JUST birth control. My life has been forever changed because I decided a condom was just too uncomfortable and inconvenient. I don’t whore around, and always have exams and STD tests done after any new partner. When I was in a relationship I was still regularaly tested. I follow most of the rules, and have somehow managed to contract these diseases. I will spend the rest of my life regretting my decision every time I didn’t use a condom, and wondering when these diseases were contracted, how long I have been sick. Was it worth it? No.

I am not writing for pity or attention, I am writing to share my very personal experience and to educate those who read this. You always think it won’t happen to you until it does.

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