I was driving home from work listening to a Spotify 2000’s playlist and it just kind of hit me.
These songs brough back flashes of memories from many years prior, before my first period, my first heartbreak, when life was simple. When I’d play outside and didn’t have a cell phone, still had to burn CD’s. Fun was playing with your neighbor, doing hair or playing school, not drinking and partying.
It dawned on me that my whole life I have rushed growing up.
I couldn’t wait to have my first period, or have a boyfriend, get a job, move out. I always wanted to be older, old enough to be home alone, old enough to smoke, old enough to drive, old enough to drink. I mean sure I cherished a lot of young moments, but I wish I knew then what I know now.
Growing up is not all it seemed to be. Being a young adult is hard, and all the responsibilities that come along with it are even harder. I wont even start on that one.
Even in this exact moment, my mind has been consumed with thoughts of a family, purchasing a home, marriage, money. I rarely slow down and just enjoy the moments I’m currently living. I forget I will never be this young again. I will feel the way I’m feeling now in 10 years, wishing I stopped and took in every moment I was living. I will wish I did more things for me, traveled, didn’t focus on a boyfriend and focused on me, did everything a typical 22 year old does.
As some of these songs played I could almost smell the places I hung out at, and remembered what I was doing in those moments. A sense of nostalgia hit, and I wish I could be 12 again at my first school dance dancing to Soulja Boy with all my friends, who little did I know I would eventually lose contact with.
I want to remind myself often to enjoy life now, and to stop stressing about tomorrow, next month, next year. To focus on what matters now, and that is living my purest life to the fullest extent of happiness because I will never be this young again.