22 with a love for putting everything into writing, or in this case, text.
I originally didn’t and still don’t know what to theme this blog about, so enjoy my entries as I feel them. Everything is raw and unfiltered, R- rated, and purely me. I’m known to over share, but I’ll word vomit as it comes to me, and have no regrets. Although this puts me in a vulnerable state, which those of you who know me know I’m always the strong one smiling with my shit together, I want whoever is reading and relating to know you are not alone. I want to know I’m not alone.
A little blurb about me;
I grew up in a broken home, mom and dad never married, I was the product of make up sex. From my first breath on this earth to this day I have had it far from easy. My mother delivered me three months early, also meaning since my first breath on this earth I have been a fighter. I fought to live. I made it, and here I am, slightly mentally broken but I am normal. Soon after my wonderful debut into this world, life started to happen. My parents were both recovering and relapsing drug addicts. They both cleaned up, I love them to pieces, but hold a lot of resentment. I lived through a hellish period of time, my parents had the typical custody battle landing me in foster care for a few days. (I’d love to meet my foster mom and give her a big, huge fuck you, and give her daughter a nice punch to the throat for the trauma they put me through.) While yes, it was only for a few days and for that I am grateful, it still fucked me up. Mom eventually won custody over me, and I lost contact with my father until I was 13. During this time I met my sister, my dad’s other daughter. I fell in love with a beautiful boy. I went through all the teenage things, rebelling, etc. I regained contact with my father and am so glad I did. At 17 familial issues took over, and I was forced again to be an adult when I wasn’t ready. At 18 I dropped everything, my job, my boyfriend, and so on and with a broken heart fled to Boston to live with my dad. That lasted a good two months and I came back to CA knowing I’d be homeless AND jobless without a single word to my family that I was coming home. It took a while but I picked myself up and got my shit together again. I got a job, got my own place and have been living life since.
Through my struggles, I have matured far beyond my age, and have a tremendous amount of fight in me. I think I’m just really good at numbing things out, but I guess that’s what they call strength. I fight my demons everyday and try to cherish every day I get to take another breath on this earth. I am here to please myself and no one else.
Enjoy the parts of life I invite you to share with me. Laugh with me, cry with me, be angry with me. Live life purely with me. Welcome to my journey, day by day, entry by entry.